this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
