she was so not down for the gang bang
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize