So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
