this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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