We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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