You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
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Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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