Me. At least after what I've been through.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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