I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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