And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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