I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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