I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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