Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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