My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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