so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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