I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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