who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
