you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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