My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
