p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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