why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize