omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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