The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
