I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
