no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
