Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
