I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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