we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
