omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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