I am puke
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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