that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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