she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize