can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
