i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
