just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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