she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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