I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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