I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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