do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
