he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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