Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
