Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You were trust falling into bushes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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