he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
MIDGETS
????
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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