last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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