is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize