i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
