i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
