My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
