is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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