I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize