So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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