If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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