Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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