Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Which ones?

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  (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? http://tfl.nu/2pkr
  Replies (20) Good night (2920) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

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  (321): I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/ccnb
  Replies (13) Good night (3493) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.

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  (954): We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers. http://tfl.nu/9jml
  Replies (5) Good night (3871) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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  (701): A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case. http://tfl.nu/jpiw
  Replies (13) Good night (4143) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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  (402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt
  Replies (19) Good night (2709) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport

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  (952): I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport http://tfl.nu/ckgb
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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  (250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk
  Replies (11) Good night (403) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.

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  (630): Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll. http://tfl.nu/j17p
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

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  (717): I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it. http://tfl.nu/i1s8
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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  (513): Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants. http://tfl.nu/xbb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1272) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1318) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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  (512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn
  Replies (1) Good night (1094) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.

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  (717): Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU. http://tfl.nu/ziqd
  Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.

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  (573): I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh. http://tfl.nu/ykfv
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.

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  (716): I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you. http://tfl.nu/g31r
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (256)

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