I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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