...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.