Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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