Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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