I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
