Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
