i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
