If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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