i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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