he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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