all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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