The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
