I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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