He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize