I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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