woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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