that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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